Mixed Emotions

Angie & I headed up to Portland this weekend for the Women of Faith conference/concert. Concert is what some of it felt like. I enjoyed all the biblical teaching but the concert part I could have done without. I have such a hard time putting into words what God has shown me (especially when 5AM came so early and I don't have any creamer for my coffee, phew, it's a tough morning). One thing He did show me is that sin & God CAN NOT co-exist. Which doesn't mean that we need to be perfect but we need to ask forgiveness and leave room for God's grace. In order to receive His forgiveness we must forgive others too. I love it when I have heard people say and they said it this weekend, "you have to give yourself permission to fail". If we expect that we are going to make the perfect decision every time then we are not leaving room for God's grace. I tell my children all the time "You do the best that you can, and LET God take care of the rest". It is so true for all of us. If we are doing our work as unto the Lord than He will honor our best and pick up the rest. I have also learned some great things about obedience and joy and serving. Obedience has to come first in anything that we do, sometimes the joy won't come until later but if we are obedient first than the joy will come from that obedient heart. Serving is obedience too, we have to have a servants heart and a servants will otherwise we will not grow in our Lord. Servanthood came easy at first but in the last few years has not been quite so easy the more I have had to do at home but it's just an excuse, God wants our first fruits in EVERYTHING. God just wants us to put others first, show grace, show forgiveness and most importantly LOVE HIM!

As great as this weekend started, the end was difficult. We were able to send Storm to a new home yesterday. This was PAINFUL! This dog has been such a source of anger for me and now hopefully that will change but it was probably one of the hardest things that we had to do. It was so hard hearing Emma's voice wavering through the tears, "bye Storm" (and I cry as I type this even). John put it best when he told Emma that having Storm here was just like making her stay in her bedroom ALL the time and she could come out but only for a little while and only when other people were not here. Some people may not agree with our decision but it doesn't matter to us because this is our family and this is what we had to do for our family. Yes, it is difficult to watch Emma have a hard time with it but she can't be shielded from it. It's just like when God makes decisions for us that we don't like but we have to endure them and grow in them. He hates to see us greive but He also knows the best decisions for us. I read a post from a fellow christian that was titled "God is a God of disappointment". It's so true, we may have a certain idea/vision for our own lives and we "involve" God in that idea/vision but ultimately it's up to God to make those decisions for us and we may be very disappointed with what He has for us. It's not the answer we wanted but it's the best answer for us. We didn't want to take Storm away from the family but it's the best decision for our family at this time. We did get pictures from her new owners and she was running running running and looked like she was having fun.

A few people have asked why we didn't sell her, well it simply goes like this, we didn't want her to be a "sold item". Yes if you sell her than you know she is going to someone who has invested money but money isn't everything. Yes we spent a lot of money on her and we probably could have recouped part of it but she wasn't an item, she was a family member. We just wanted her to go to someone who had heart. God gave us a peace about where she was going, we know she went to a good owner.

It turned out ok, we took the kids to Subway for dinner and Cold Stone for dessert. After the food indulgence we came home and assembled some new lego projects. And can you believe it, I didn't get any pictures. What kind of mom am I?